My freecan head hurts. You know, Grand Junction can be one really crappy place to live. Don't listen to what people say to get people to move here. It gets hot as hell in the summer, we barely have a spring, and yes, it does snow. I'm fine with the snow. I love snow. I love winter. I hate spring, summer, and fall. Let me tell you something. Grand Junction is surrounded by mountains. It's a good thing if you enjoy skiing, mountain biking, hiking. It's all good. But, what people fail to realize, is that being surrounded by mountains, everything in the air gets trapped in the valley. It's that crap in the air that drives me crazy. Four about three months out of the year, if they're good years with lots of snow, I can breathe good. But for the rest of the year, and being a person with asthma and chronic bronchitis, and a person allergic to grass, mold, pollen, dust, smoke . . . it blows hard core.

There. I have successfully whined. Thank you and goodnight.

Okeyday. So, I'm doing this here writing thing. Finally doing the Nanowrimo thing, and so far it's going pretty darn well. I have almost all of my critters lined up, think I know where I'm going, then ohhh, look, let's go this way. Sometimes writing is a fun ride, and I actually like where this new direction is taking me. It's hell killing off 85% of the world's population, but damn it, the air's a lot cleaner. Road rage is non-existent. And I have taken care of idiots.

I'm going to start calling people idiots and morons in homage to Dr. House. I love that show. I love the bi-play between the doctors, and how House just says what he wants. I'm going to use that in my novel. Maybe I'll have a vampire say it, or a werewolf. I think a vampire would call people idiots.

Perfectly pleasing plebeians pester pompous penguins. Peter pelted porcupines posthumously, pouring pints producing purple pansies. Perhaps plastic pitchforks pound prolific persons. Ponderously preening perverse politicians procure postmortem port. Practicality proves preposterous providing perplexing Puritanical pessimism. Predict polka-dot ponchos pollinating pornographic porticoes. Palatable pomegranates perch precariously prognosticators propose.

Wow. It's been almost two years since I've done any posting. I am so lame sometimes. Well, not really, but who really cares anyway. I could write about the stupid elections, and how almost everyone out there doesn't know what's going on. Tidbit for you all: look at the candidates character. Don't choose one just because he talks nice or says what you want to hear. Hello, they all tell you what you want to hear. And once they're elected they do their own thing. I was sad to see that there was no write in space on my ballot. I guess they got sick and tired of Mickey Mouse being elected. Don't follow the crowd. Figure out for yourself who the best person is for the job by yourself. HA! I guess I did write about the elections, didn't I? Well, it's over and done with. You shall hear no more of this from me, unless the world is going to end, but probably not, because if the world is going to end I will be looting the streets to fill the bomb shelter. That and securing Gerard Butler.

Hello, haggard heroes. Hopeless hermits herald harrowing hair-raising harmonicas. Heedless, hermaphrodites hum harmoniously, helping Hermes hasten hearses homeward. Hades, happily hashing hell-hounds, hovers heinously. Horrendous horses hone homonyms, harmlessly hypnotizing hyperactive hedgehogs. Hysteria hatches hybrid hyacinths, hounding hyenas hitherto hostelry. Humanoid hummingbirds holding horrible hacksaws hasten hedonism heartily. Hooray, hurrah, huzzah humanity. Herculean hamsters hurriedly hush harumscarum headmasters headlong, heading heartthrobs hell-ward.

Scrumptious sadists survive simply so surgeons succinctly sample sagacious salamanders. Sinister snails and snakes slither silkily surrounding sequoias. Somnambulists sleepily sink suddenly, surprising salivating shepherds. Sphinx's seldom search snipes seeking a sojourn somewhere Southern. Silence slithers spiritually, sucking souls serene smut, slobbering spatter on soothsayers. Synchronicity shrouds sleazy sires.

Laughing languorous, llamas like to lick little liars. Life looms lower and likely loses lighters looking for liquor. Luscious lunatics linger loathsomely, lounging in lurid lust listening to lutes. Legions laboriously lacerate labyrinths, locating the lavender lord with laryngitis. Lathes lawfully leach the lecherous legation, letting loose leopards and leprous leprechauns to liberate loquacious lowlanders.

The perils of preordained prognosticators. Prolific in a palpable possibility, perhaps personable persuasion pervades peoples progeny's progress. Provincial pondering on my part. Pontificating pirates provide preeminent pleasures pertaining plausibly posthaste problematically. Procrastinating perfectly people pause pointedly. Pragmatic power plays the pawn plenty.

Does anyone out there actually care about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? I can honestly say that I don't give a rats ass if they get married or not. I don't care if they both shave their heads, do the samba, and live in a tree. Come on people, really. There are many many many many other things in the world o be interested in. The lives of celebrities should not revolve around your own life. And, if you don't have a life, here's a tidbit: GET ONE. Come on. Enough is enough. Live your own life, not theirs. The spaceship obviously left good old Tom behind for a reason.

It seems to me, that every election year, more and more idiots come out of the woodwork. Why, oh why, are so many Americans brainwashed by the rhetoric of politics? I think it is so sad that people in the US of A cannot think for themselves. Do these people not understand that politicians only tell the public what they want to hear so they get elected? Once elected, politicians reveal their own agenda. If people actually took the time to form their own opinions, AND NOT LET NEWS SHOWS AND MINDLESS RHETORIC AND PROPAGANDA AND MUDSLINGING rule their minds, something good might actually happen in this country. So, since the election of 2006 is over, let me say one thing: YOU PUT THEM INTO OFFICE, DON'T BITCH ABOUT WHAT THEY DO. IT IS ALL YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT. Because, I'm sorry. Does anyone out there really believe that anything is going to change? It's only going to get worse. Like children on the playground, fighting over the monkey bars, politicians will whine and complain and tattle on each other, go on vacations at the tax payers expense, then whine and complain some more.

Halloween has come and gone, so what have I learned? My brother is not a very attractive woman. Or it could have been the multi colored mullet wig he wore. My other brother enjoys tormenting teenagers, of course, I already knew that. And for people that don't show: FREECAN HIPPIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, you know who you are. Along with the fun that is Halloween, they show all the cool shows around this time. Vampires, zombies, witches, oh my! But then you get the idiot religious people condemning Halloween and call pagans devil worshipers. HELLO! The devil is a Christian concept. Pagans didn't believe in the devil. Get off your horse. Halloween is so mainstream, most people don't even know the real meaning behind it. Okay, rant done for now.

Grrrrrr. It's days like today that make me wish I ruled the world. One day, I will. But seriously. What is up with people and their non-driving abilities? They don't know how to park. They don't know how to pull out of a parking space. I was almost out of my space when some idiot woman pulls out and nearly creams me. What does she do? Does the "I'm sorry smile" and pulls away. She will be banned in my utopia. There will be a series of test required for those who wish to drive. Driving skills, common sense, IQ, parking, waiting at cross walks. And the standards will be set very high. Hello people! There is a thing called common sense. It should be used.

Go ahead. Tick me off. The work on my fortress and bunker continues.

Hugh Jackman. Why can't I have my own Hugh Jackman? Is that too much to ask for?

Okay. I got that out of my system. Can you see him in a kilt? MMMMMMMM

Okay. Really. It is finally getting cold here!!! It's good news, for I own tons of boots and sweaters. Goodbye 90 degree weather! I truly believe that I will only be happy in a place like the Highlands of Scotland. As long as the place doesn't go from 90 one day to 60 the next and back to 90 degrees for months on end. Give me the cold. And Hugh Jackman in a kilt. And a Navy Seal. Navy uniforms are hot.

You should have been there. I was at a local bookstore around 6:30 this evening. And there he was: a tallish bald guy wearing headphones, attempting to sing along with gospel music. It was terrrrrrrrrible! He'd walk around the music area, then he would put on the headphones so customers can listen to snippets of songs. Then he would attempt to sing along. It sounded like he was strangling a cat with a sore throat. I couldn't tell if the guy was in a cult or if he was a serial killer. Maybe in a cult of serial killers, who sing garbled gospel?

I found pictures of Ewan and Liam in kilts!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUM YUM YUM



Please enjoy, and be careful of the drool;P

What is up with people who insist on wearing those ugly as hell garden shoes outside of the garden? Or with people wearing their pj's to the mall? Is there a reason some people cannot figure out how to put on clothes and shoes? Hello!!!! There are plenty of stores that actually cater to the clothing and shoe wearing community.

In my perfect utopia, these people would be banned. Along with those who dare to wear socks with sandals. Plus, women who do not seem to be able to actually wear clothes at all. No one wants to see your stomach hanging out, thank you very much!!!!

You know, there is something to be said for a man in a kilt. They're not afraid to let it all hang out. I believe that kilt wearing should be the new winter fashion in the U.S. Ah, one of the aspects of my perfect utopia: gorgeous men in kilts.

You know, there are many people that do and say things that amuse me. I love getting a chuckle at someone else's expense. Like when someone says they like going to a dollar store because they don't have to get dressed up. But they get dressed up to go to Wal-Mart. This is what happens when the brain can't catch up with the mouth. I always thought it was a joke to say when you see someone dressed up in a store. But someone actually said this. Ahhh. Comfortable living.

Television journalists. You would think that they would know how to talk, right? Reporters for the major news conglomerates usually can speak. But what about the local anchors? They stutter, trip over common words, or worse yet, completely mispronounce the word. The correct pronunciation for cacophony, in Websters, is ka'kafene. Not KA KO PHANY. I suggest teleprompter school. Also, how to use syllables correctly.